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Post subject: Cookie Rules
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If you eat a Christmas cookie fresh out of the oven, it has no calories because everyone knows that the first made cookie is the test and thus calorie free.
If you drinik a diet soda after eating your second cookie, it also has no calories because the diet soda cancels out the cookie calories(water has the same properties here).
If a friend comes over while you're making Christmas cookies and needs to sample, you must sample with your friend. Because your friend's first cookie is calorie free, rule #1 is yours also. It would be rude to let your friend sample alone and, being tghe friend you are, that makes your cookie calorie free, as well.
Any cookie consumed while walking around will fall to your feet and eventually fall off as you move. This is due to gravity and the density of the caloric mass.
Any calories consumed during the frosting of The Christmas cookies will be used up because it takes many calories to lick excess frosting from a knife without cutting your tongue.
Cookies colored red or green have very few calories. Red ones have three and green ones have five--one calorie for each letter(make more red ones!)
Cookies eaten while watching "Miracle onf 34th Street" have NO calories because they are part of the entertainment pjacckage and not part of the one's personal fuel.
As always, cookie "pieces" contain no calories because the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
Any cookies consumed from someon else's plate h ave no calories since the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to their plate.(We all know how calories like to CLING!)
Any cookies consumed while feeling stressed have no calories because cookies used for medicianl purpose never have calories.(its the rule!) |
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